A Milestone…………..

Yesterday I finally severed the umbilical cord to yet another chapter of my life…I wrote in formally and quit my job. I had been meaning to do this for quite a few months, but it was as, if I did, then I would suddenly become rudderless, and be cast adrift upon alien waters. So I clung on to a life style which had taught me discipline, shown me focus and brought in the wherewithal to care for my children without us being forced to tackle major lifestyle changes. I was not in the first flush of youth when our family had a tragedy to face, but I was grateful that I was given the opportunity of earning a decent living, without it smacking of charity, worse, pity.

Maybe right at the beginning, if I had been able to peep into the future and been privvy to the many pitfalls in my career path, better sense might have prevailed…or maybe not! I clutched at every straw, sought any escape to lend focus to a world suddenly gone topsy-turvy. One moment my life had it all. A wonderful husband rising to dizzy heights in his chosen career, children who never caused us any grief and only made us proud and happy to be their parents, my warm & loving parents & in laws. Then one dark day, in one fell swoop, everything changed. I had to work, I needed to focus and pull myself up and carry on with living. And so began a career, at mid life, which spanned twenty three years

Since I was going to start working in familiar surroundings and not among strangers, my self confidence began seeping back. But it was rather daunting to be aware that I was joining a mostly male-centric working executive community. Also, women were not such a major chunk of the workforce in those years when I started working. It took me a while, but it was enjoyable and satisfying that I was able to pull my weight, put the proverbial clothes on our backs & food on the table, plus add a few frills to our lives, with my new role of Provider. The sun came out from behind the dark clouds of the previous nightmarish months, the children who had suddenly been clinging to me, began to also realize that I would be there for them-always. They had no need for apprehensions, apprehensions of any kind. I was always going to be their rock, there for them, whatever the future might hold.

As you can imagine, working a 9 to 5 corporate job helps shape and sharpen, and redefine your personality. It gives you the discipline of time management, helps you multi task better than the juggling clown at a circus, calms your mind to deal with tricky situations on the job, which adds to life experience, not just work experience. Instinctively I felt worthy and good to be part of the workforce. I went where I wanted, I chose to do and say what I thought & wished. I took decisions for my children and their future, unflinchingly, knowing full well that maybe in hindsight these may not always be the correct ones. But by then, one also had honed the skills to tweak any wrong decision made. All because I was a working woman…I felt this was what had given me poise and self confidence and with it, freedom.

I moved to the city, continued working well into the explosive computer age of the ‘90’s & the dawn of the new century. I learnt on the new job, stuck it out for the comfort factor. Made mistakes, erred in many a judgement, learnt not to trust the world around me without first checking their bona fides. It was as if nothing could faze me. I was made of sterner stuff, and blessed with many good friends and confidantes, so I was able to take such hiccups in my stride, towards eventual grandmotherhood.

Then I began feeling bewildered. The juggling of life’s balls was not smoothly perfect. What I could cope with just a few years ago, tied hands & blindfolded, often seemed beyond me lately. My priorities had shifted. My personal  responsibilities continued & multiplied, but these of course one could not ignore and wish away. Yet I had begun to resent not having sufficient “me” time. I seemed mainly to have to often think of what was expected of me. I thought that I needed to, I had earned it and I yearned for it, and so I took the conscious decision, to have the flexibility to spend my time as I wished. To counting butterflies maybe, in far off & wondrous, yet unexplored lands, before my eyesight faded and my joints audibly creaked. To spoiling my delicious grand children silly, behind their parents’ backs. To enjoying the company of my friends,in giggly gaggles, at lunches or the movies, or at short getaway holidays.

And so, I quit my job.

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “A Milestone…………..

    • Thanks for the kind, appreciative words. I hope my newly acquired “Lady of Leisure” status doesn’t squash my Writing Muse………..!

      Like

  1. You alway could express youself well. Agree with Jothie Sharma you should write. Take time off to count butterflies and smell the roses too.

    Like

    • Many thanks your appreciative words of encouragement. I hope this is not a story of “well begun but half done….” and I run out of steam!

      Like

    • Thanks Shalini—-have to keep the brain ticking over & the thought processes up & running, to ward off Mr.A & Ms.D…do read the next…..

      Like

  2. Harini, I just cant believe this. I knew your English was good, but this is amazing. Why dont you write a book ? Your memoirs, maybe. What power you have over the language ! I am really proud to have been your best friend in WCC.

    Like

    • Anita. Thank you-but you exaggerate. Having said that -you don’t know how much I appreciate your approbation–in true English Major, WCC Style! I guess we ‘English Mains’ DID imbibe a few nuances of the Language in those years spent in our august Alma Mater… !

      Like

    • Thank you very much Hanna. I think I will seriously undertake chasing butterflies in far off wondrous lands,yet unexplored, and search for rainbows too….!
      Love, Harini

      Like

  3. Congratulations! On your new status, and the new beginnings. You always had a way with words as demonstrated with your playwriting debut at school. Love the blog and look forward to reading more. I am definitely going to add this to my feed reader 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks Ranjana.Did I really do the script for our school final year play? I can’t remember. Well, then the Muse must have woken up after a very long slumber. Have followed with another Post…busy with handing over at work. Feed my Muse, keep your comments coming…….

      Like

  4. Wow Harini ! Woman of hidden talents and not just a beautiful face ! Congratulations and best wishes for this new chapter in your life. Looking forward to coffee mornings AND evenings !

    Like

    • Faby dear.Many thanks for your words of encouragement. I’d go bananas, if we didn’t continue to meet up for more coffee mornings & evenings, and a few of those marvellously energizing birthday lunches with our ‘gaggle of giggly girls,’ thrown in…!!

      Like

  5. Wonderful writing Harini!! Always knew you cld write well….I think you should seriously take up writing…our own home-grown J K Rowling!!! Your indomitable spirit is not going to be satisfied with butterflies n roses for long !!!

    Like

    • J K Rowling??? How I wish, Anita!But many thanks for your appreciative words.I hope that you will encourage me with further flights of my imagination, by “Following” my BLOG Posts…………?

      Like

  6. Well done, Harini – a new you, but I cannot actually imagine you s l o w i n g down! I love the writing style too, like your other contributors above. Good luck for the future and I hope we will see you in Europe again soon. Maggie

    Like

    • Hellllo! Maggie. Many thanks for your appreciative comments and good wishes.Visiting Europe again is presently a distant dream.I am gathering my thoughts..but the pace of my life is oddly, nowhere near slowing down……..!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s